Pretty much everyone knows how important communication is in a relationship. When we first meet a man or woman who is potential romantic partner, there is a natural desire to talk to them, be with them, touch them, be physically intimate with them… like… a lot. In fact, for most people, they can’t get their new love out of their mind, and think about them constantly. They experience a sense of longing when the other person is not around, and feel excited and energized when they are together.
Over time, all of this verbal, physical, and emotional interaction creates an emotional bond between partners. This special bond is like the gravity that keeps planets and moons orbiting around each other, it is an invisible tether that orients partners toward each other and organizes their lives together. This emotional bond, also called an ‘attachment bond’, is so core to the relationship that we can really think about it as the relationship itself. In other words, when that bond is strong, the relationship is strong. When that bond is stressed, the relationship is stressed. When that bond breaks, the relationship ends and a breakup or divorce often follows.
So, these emotional attachment bonds that keeps you and your loved one oriented toward each other first emerged through a pattern of persistent, positive verbal and physical communication very early in the relationship. Looked at in another way, we can say that the relationship itself is the emotional bond between you and your partner. Since this emotional bond is formed and maintained by the quality of communication within the relationship, we can think think about the relationship itself as just another term for the pattern of